Joining that Elite Club at 54

My father, the greatest man I ever knew, passed away in 1989. Thrusting my brother, sister and I into the beginning of the elite "Loss Of A Parent" club. And while it may not have been unexpected, the passing of my mother just before this past Christmas holiday, made me realize that at 54, my siblings and I were now officially members of an even more elite (even more unwanted) club; one where membership is unwelcome...orphans.

I somehow knew that, while not guaranteed, in all likelihood, they would precede us in this life, yet until she passed away, I'd never looked at the loss of my mother in the vein of being an orphan.

It is a somewhat surreal feeling. I heavily mourned the passing of my father and now find myself somewhat adrift with mom's death. No longer is there a parent to turn to for advice or encouragement. No longer can I simply call my parents from whatever far flung worldwide destination I find myself in and simply say hello. The option to stop by on a whim exists only in the past. Mom will no longer beckon me to come change out the cat's litter box, get her a burrito or bring her pasta.

There is a hollowness deep inside. I go on, as expected, with my life; keeping to myself, sharing little with my wife, family and friends.

If we had our way, we'd have eagerly opted out of this club, my siblings and I. In many ways, we were much more fortunate than others in that we had one of our parents for over fifty years. We will cherish those times. Still, right at this very moment (and I'm sure, for some time to come), I'd gladly forego membership and happily return my dues.